Atlanta Closer in Distance Than in Philosophy on Gay Marriage

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Atlanta Closer in Distance Than in Philosophy on Gay Marriage
June 27, 2011
by Kim Severson
The New York Times

ATLANTA — Philip Rafshoon and his partner, Robert Gaul, were taking some good-natured ribbing for their sexual orientation at a comedy show here on Saturday. They were the only openly gay people in the audience.

Ben Gleib, the comic, made a few jokes about same-sex marriage and asked how long they had been a couple. Sixteen years, they answered. There were gasps, then applause. “We were probably together longer than most people in the audience,” Mr. Gaul said.

The moment, coming a day after New York legalized same-sex marriage, was a reminder that attitudes here have softened. But it did not change the fact that the couple lives in a state that may never allow them to marry legally.

“Atlanta is one of the biggest dichotomies of the major Southern cities,” said Mr. Rafshoon, who owns Outwrite, a bookstore and coffee shop that serves as one of the centers of gay Atlanta.

On one hand, Atlanta has a vibrant community of gay, lesbian and transgender people. Its annual gay pride celebration, held in October, is among the nation’s largest. The Hotlanta Softball League fills several fields with gay and lesbian players every Sunday.

But Georgia and its largest city are still far from approving anything close to New York’s law. Georgia voters in 2004 overwhelmingly approved a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage.

“I love where I am from and I am glad to be from here, but the laws are exactly where most of the people are,” said Virginia Willis, a cookbook author. “I stick to the point I always make, which is that I believe God doesn’t not love me because I’m gay.”

Many gays here joke darkly about not driving outside “the perimeter” — the circle of freeways separating more liberal Atlanta from the deeply conservative suburbs, where the message of homosexuality as sinful lifestyle is regularly delivered from hundreds of pulpits.

In particular, the suburbs are home to the New Birth Missionary Baptist Church, which has more than 25,000 members, including until recently the Rev. Bernice King, the daughter of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and whose pastor, Bishop Eddie Long, has led marches against same-sex marriage.

Ms. King left New Birth in May, less than a week after Bishop Long settled a civil case for an undisclosed sum in which four young men said they had been coerced into having sex with him.

The region is also home to organizations like the Winshape Foundation, the charitable arm of the fast-food company Chick-fil-A, which has given hundreds of thousands of dollars to national groups fighting same-sex marriage.

Although the subject was undoubtedly mentioned at some of the thousands of conservative churches in this part of the country, it was a non-issue at others.

“We celebrated our graduates today,” said the Rev. Shanan E. Jones, a minister at the Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta.

Just how much the legal change moved Georgians who are against it was less clear. Personal Twitter feeds and Facebook pages denounced the law, but there were few editorials one way or the other in major newspapers in Georgia or other parts of the South.

“There will be a strong reaction for some people,” Ms. Willis said. “A lot of, Look what the sinners in New York did.”

But she, like others, suspect the law means more for people who support it than those who oppose it.

“The people who were in the store yesterday were almost speechless about it,” Mr. Rafshoon said. “We are so happy the country is moving forward, but there is the sobering reality that in Georgia it’s going to be a very long time until it happens.”

In the meantime, plans were being made by same-sex couples in love to head to New York to formalize things. The reasons are practical as well as political. Plane travel to New York takes only about two hours.

Blake Hardy, an assistant manager at Outwrite, heard one pair of brides preparing to marry in Massachusetts this summer cursing their bad timing.

“They said it would have been a whole lot easier to have done it in New York,” he said.